Moving into penetrative sex, you might be wondering how something that size could fit inside of you. The truth is, most vaginas are between three and seven inches long, but they’re actually super stretchy and can expand much longer and wider during sex (and childbirth). Very rarely, some penises won’t fit, but that’s why taking it slow is important.

As mentioned above, if intercourse feels uncomfortable (or like the penis is hitting a wall in your vagina), try a different position, slow things down, or try some manual or oral stimulation to increase blood flow to the vagina.

4. Should I use a condom the first time I have sex?

Nothing is more distracting than worrying about STIs and pregnancy during sex. Even if it feels awkward, it is so, so, so important to chat with your partner beforehand about what you’ll do to protect yourselves. Use a condom even if you’re on another form of birth control to protect you both from STIs. Feel free to check out local clinics like Planned Parenthood for free and affordable testing.

5. Who is supposed to bring the condom?

If there’s even the slightest possibility of sex potentially happening, you should already be prepared with a condom, suggests ob-gyn Tamika K. Cross, MD. Since condoms help prevent unwanted pregnancy and STIs, take responsibility into your own hands and don’t expect your partner to provide them. “Why put your faith in someone else’s preparedness?” says Dr. Cross.

6. What counts as “first-time sex”? Does it have to be penetrative?

Let’s get one thing straight first: “Sex” is not synonymous with penetrative sex. Mint says it’s actually much broader than that. Her favorite definition comes from the Go Ask Alice! site, which is run by a team of Columbia University health professionals. Their definition of sex is:

“Any act involving contact with the vulva, clitoris, vagina, anus, penis, or testicles between one or more consenting people for the purpose of sexual pleasure could constitute Doing the Deed. Genital-to-genital, mouth-to-genital, mouth-to-anal, hand-to-genital, anal-to-genital, toy to genital.. japonska seznamka. you get the idea. Yes, this definition could encompass phone sex, masturbation, and genital contact through clothes. In this definition, consent matters and intent matters (pelvic exams do not equal sex, for example). Notice that penetration does not define sex, nor does a possibility of pregnancy, nor does orgasm.”

7. Is one type of sex more “real” than other types?

Despite what you might have seen in media, a P going in a V isn’t what sex is, and Mint says thinking that is actually pretty problematic for a number of reasons.

“The vast majority of people with vaginas don’t orgasm from intercourse alone, so this definition is very penis-centric,” she says. “Second, this definition is not inclusive of non-heterosexual sex.”

If you build up penetration so much, there’s a good chance you’ll be extra anxious heading into the experience. Instead, try to reframe your mindset, which might help you feel a little more at ease before trying any new type of sex.

Also, there’s no sex hierarchy where some acts are considered more “real” than others. One type of sex isn’t “more special” than other types. If you never want to have penetrative sex or oral sex or anal sex or whatever sex, don’t! There’s plenty of other types to experiment with, if you want to at all.

8. Do I need to tell my doctor if I want to or have had sex?

The best part about getting a gynecologist is you have someone to bounce sex-related questions off of, so utilize their knowledge. “Sex and sexual function are such big topics, and there’s often a lot of shame around them, but we can cover anything that’s going on,” says Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz, MD, an ob-gyn in Beverly Hills who previously told Cosmopolitan. “You deserve to understand your body, get good information, and have fun and enjoy sex,” she says.