What To Do If Your Birth Charts Do Not Sync Up
Before we get into more specifics on birth chart compatibility, it’s important to first understand a few basics around some key planets and terms. Some common terms you’ll hear below – and what they represent – include the following.
As an astrologer who specializes in relationships, she says the key to chart comparison is to have an open mind
- Sun – your core personality
- Moon – your emotional side
- Rising/Ascendant – how others see you
As an astrologer who specializes in relationships, she says the key to chart comparison is to have an open mind
- Mercury – communication and logic
- Venus – love life and relationships
- Mars – sexuality and energy
- Jupiter – luck and faith
- Saturn – responsibility and determination
- Uranus – innovation and unpredictability
However, there’s much more to it than the above, says Furiate. “It is also important to know that just because aspects between two charts, or two people, are hard, it doesn’t mean the relationship will not work,” she explains. “Often, easy aspects between charts may be just as challenging. ‘Easy aspects’ could mean that people are not willing to put in the work when times get tough.” But because relationships are learning experiences, she says, often the hard, or less desirable aspects, serve the relationship well – especially when the planets Venus and Saturn are involved. “Venus represents our love life and may describe what we are looking for in a partner,” she notes. “And Saturn represents our staying power: Will the relationship stand the test of time when things become a challenge?”
And Hocking says, overall, you’ll want to look for similarities in your birth charts: Do you share signs across your sun, moon, and rising sign? “Like I mentioned, my husband and I have Cancer moons, but he also has Sagittarius rising and I am a Sagittarius sun,” she says. And do you have a cluster of planets (three or more) in the same sign? “My husband and I sharing Libra clusters helps our compatibility,” Hocking adds. “In addition, sometimes our Venus or Mars placement (depending on our sexual orientation and preference) will indicate the best sign for us to partner with (but not always!),” she explains.
Chemistry is another aspect your birth charts may reveal. “It may be the most important part of any relationship,” says Furiate. “Chart comparison helps to explain where that chemistry may exist.” She says things to look for include how compatible the Moon signs are between charts: Are these two people able to relate to each other emotionally? Next would be to look at the planet Mercury to see how well the two of you are able to communicate your needs and desires. “And Venus, the love planet connections, are most important, as this represents attraction to each other and things one may value in life,” she says. “Mars rules sexuality, so having compatible aspects between two charts is a must.”
So – is a relationship doomed if two people’s birth charts don’t line up well? Not necessarily. “I think it is really important to get professional astrological advice if you are unsure, and not jump to conclusions that may not be accurate,” says Hocking. “I think, in general, we are drawn to someone for a reason – typically, that is because we recognize things in them that we also have in ourselves, and they just feel like home. This will likely show in your charts in some way.”
Martinez adds that she thinks the best couples’ charts have a healthy mix of harmonious and challenging aspects. “Our birth charts are so complex, it would be a disservice to only focus on the things that come naturally to a couple or make them how to see who likes you on trueview without paying ‘compatible,’” she explains. “Sometimes, it is the juicier, more tense aspects that create the things a lot of people desire from their relationships – like passion, growth, and sexual chemistry. It’s all about working with what you have, not wishing for something you don’t.”